Prologue and Epilogue Don’t Match

When I was a child, life was bitter, and candy was sweet.

When I was a child, my steps were small, and the road was long.

When I was a child, the gaps between my fingers were wide, and time was slow.

When I was a child, the world was big, and the sky was blue.

And then,

You wear a piece of clothing for many years,

You think about a person many times,

A memory becomes faint,

A road hasn’t been completed,

A song is romantic,

A tear is salty,

A heart is lonely,

A lifetime of fate,

A thought,

Compassion,

A wish,

A Zen saying,

A kind of human world,

A lingering love affair,

A ray of sunshine is warm,

A phrase stays on the tip of your tongue,

A bottle of old wine keeps you drunk for a few days,

A marriage requires a red thread,

A dream confuses my remaining years.

When I was a child, there was a small stall at the school gate. I saw a pen that had a ballpoint pen on one end and a fountain pen on the other, it costed 30 cents. I saved up for a long time but still didn’t have enough money. One day, my mother suddenly gave me 30 cents. I went to find that pen but couldn’t find it, later I saw it with a classmate. Many years later, I liked a girl, so I saved up a lot of money to give as a betrothal gift.

In that year, storms raged, and there were few bamboo bridges in the north of the river. You said the universe will not grow old, this heart is bright. Now the road is long and the horse is slow, there are still regrets in the south of the river. You said the universe can be reflected in the mirror, I still have compassion.

In that year, it was extremely cold, the road was long and the horse was lost, the dog fell in love with the cat’s food. Time went on forever.

In that year, the days were short, and the nights were long. Moths flew into the dreams of butterflies, and butterflies dreamt that a fire burned their clothes.

Many years ago, one late night. The moonlight washed the world like daylight. The village was so old, with three brothers playing on the street. Many years later, I have never seen such a night and evening again. The brothers have long scattered.

You haven’t seen the Buddha, you haven’t developed your wisdom eye.

You only know the warmth of spring, you don’t feel the cold of winter.

You remember lilacs, you forget kapok.

On a night without rain, I dreamed of an oiled paper umbrella.

The heavy rain in the dream fell on the flowers outside the dream, and I cried all summer.

Most people with fate cannot be together, so there are fated without destiny.

The oldest piece of clothing has been with me for seven or eight years, accompanying me through half of my life. Now I can finally say years ago, the late autumn of the third year ago, the blue sky of the first year of high school five years ago, you without makeup in junior high school eight years ago, and me fooling around at the elementary school gate fourteen years ago. Sorry for the focus on school, let’s start over. Three years ago, I made a piggy bank out of a medicine box, one year of melodramatic writing five years ago, I met you in 365 days eight years ago, and I was mischievous with runny nose fourteen years ago.

A year ago, memories flooded while being poor, a year later, amnesia began to spread when having nothing.

In the past, the road was long and the bridge was short, the boat was small and the water was wide. Crossing the river with three or two silver coins.

In the past, flowers bloomed on both sides, with heaven on one end. Marrying you with a grand sedan chair, wearing a red robe and phoenix crown.

In the past, few words and slow steps, with a double meaning. Understanding you under the Bodhi tree for thirty-three days.

The road used to be long, the horse used to be slow, but now the clothes are thin in the cold.

In the past, the popsicle costed 20 cents, the ice cream costed 10 cents, and the ice made from soda costed 5 cents. I was running ahead, my little brother chasing behind, and my mother shouting behind. Holding a tea jar in my hand, the empty tea jar seemed so lifeless. There were so many segments on the way home, maybe I only ate a little piece of ice in the middle? So now, my brother eats the popsicle and I pay, the popsicles in a small town are still 50 cents.

The wind was warm back then, and laughter was sweet, a lie that lasted throughout childhood.

So there were no lies, so there was no childhood, so the epilogue doesn’t match the prologue, do whatever you want. So I still want to say more, but it becomes silence. So there are many hopes that I haven’t written, I hope they scatter with the wind.

Time cuts through like a knife, and I willingly return to the hell of Avīci.

Life’s countless karmas, why did you enter this cycle.

I’m stupid, so I don’t understand you, please don’t blame me.

“This banquet will eventually disperse, I will gradually get used to it from now on.

This play will eventually end, even if I swallow my tears at the end.”

「Donation Given, Fragrance in Hand」

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