zhuge /
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title: 2 Flowers Bloom and Wither date: 2014-03-28 tags: [“Mo Nian Has Done”] categories: [“Mo Nian Has Done”] author: Zhuge
organize: Second Flower
Flowers Bloom and Wither
After reading “The Biography of Lin Huiyin,” I feel a sense of loss. Some things in life are like this, once you pick them up, you don’t want to let go, but once you let go, you no longer have the courage to pick them up again. Unfortunately, every play has its end, and it will not be delayed just because you are reluctant.
Xu Zhimo passed away, Lin Huiyin passed away, Liang Sicheng passed away, Jin Yuelin also passed away, one by one, they all left, taking away not a single cloud. Reading about their past, I can’t help but wonder, what is it that two people rely on when they are together? What is the so-called love? Looking at the various men and women on the streets now, I have more than once wondered, what are they together for? Is their so-called love the same as what they imagine it to be? Of course, this is definitely something that no one knows.
I think, perhaps, most of the men and women who are together now are only seeking comfort in their loneliness. The ways of dating are increasing, in other words, the world is getting smaller, and we are getting to know more people, but we are becoming more and more lonely, and it can be said that there are fewer and fewer people we can confide in. Perhaps, there is too much suffering in the world, and no one wants to hear your sorrows anymore; perhaps, there is too much joy in the world, and no one thinks your happiness matters. In any case, it is loneliness, or as Tsangyang Gyatso said: every heart is born to be lonely and incomplete, wanting to find someone willing to listen, whether it is the love we imagine or not, it doesn’t matter anymore.
I always thought that love should at least be a tremor of the heart or soul, just like Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo, just like Jin Yuelin’s love for Lin Huiyin. I think only two hearts that resonate with each other can be the most perfect together. Lin Huiyin may be the happiest woman in history. Xu Zhimo thought of her throughout his life, Liang Sicheng accompanied her throughout her life, Jin Yuelin waited for her, guarding her throughout her life. She was as the book describes, quiet, indifferent, calm in the face of favor or disgrace, calmly surprising people. Calmly leaving Xu Zhimo, calmly waiting for Liang Sicheng, calmly accepting Jin Yuelin’s waiting, making onlookers uneasy. Perhaps as the book describes, she is a woman who loves worldly fireworks, what she wants is a peaceful life.
But what I don’t understand is, can a heart really be moved by multiple people? Lin Huiyin left Xu Zhimo and married Liang Sicheng, but then told Liang Sicheng that she loved two people at the same time (Liang Sicheng and Jin Yuelin); Xu Zhimo left Lin Huiyin and fell in love with Lu Xiaoman, and married Lu Xiaoman; after Lin Huiyin’s death, Liang Sicheng married Lin Zhu. Only Jin Yuelin never married for his whole life. Does it mean that a heart can truly be divided, and be in love with multiple people at the same time?
I have a classmate who deeply loves his girlfriend, knitting scarf for her in the cold winter, folding paper roses for her now, leaving messages every day, thinking of her every day, a deep affection that moves people. One day, I asked him, if one day you and your girlfriend break up due to uncontrollable circumstances, what would you do? He said, I haven’t thought about it, I don’t think it will happen, I love her, and she loves me. But then, a few days later, he said to me, he said, “I think if we really break up, then I will let go, I love her, that’s enough. Maybe I will feel heartbroken for a while, but then I think I will continue my life until I meet another woman who makes my heart beat again, that’s it.” His answer shocked me and yet it made sense, he was calm just like Lin Huiyin, calm enough to make people tremble.
Perhaps, everyone’s heart is different at different ages, and the people who can make their hearts beat can also be different. The young Lin Huiyin loved Xu Zhimo, while the older Lin Huiyin loved Liang Sicheng. So, the Lin Sicheng who loved Lin Huiyin is the young Liang Sicheng, and the one who loved Lin Zhu is the older Liang Sicheng, perhaps only in this way can it be a little easier for someone.
However, we cannot deny any sincere and devoted love, whether it is Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman, or Liang Sicheng and Lin Zhu. Just like what Lin Zhu said: “We didn’t have romantic walks and lingering under the flowers and moonlight, no ‘you and me’ vows by the sea or lake. No, we didn’t have these beautiful scenery that can be forever cherished in our hearts. We only had hour after hour of heart-to-heart talks and pouring out our hearts. Finally, we decided to live together.” This is how it is, who would dare to oppose such a love? A person who has never tasted pork is powerless to talk about the taste of pork, it is laughable. When I wrote this, I wondered how many people would laugh at me for being shallow and ignorant?
In my eyes, Jin Yuelin is the true man, never marrying for the one he loves, waiting for her for a lifetime. After all, how many of those who are truly together can be together for a lifetime? What saddens me the most is that in the late 1950s, on a certain day after Lin Huiyin’s death, it was said that Jin Yuelin invited all his old friends to Beijing Hotel without giving any reason beforehand, and the friends who went didn’t know why. When they were halfway through the meal, Jin Yuelin stood up and said, “Today is Lin Huiyin’s birthday.” Reading this, tears uncontrollably welled up in my eyes. I think what made him most comforted might be that after Lin Huiyin’s death, he personally served as a member of the funeral committee and sent her off.
The book says that Lin Huiyin is like a lotus, rising above the dust but not stained by it, but unfortunately in the end, she still returns to the dust. Such a woman should not be stained by the world, she should be like an incomparable lotus, not moved by anyone, making everyone moved by her. Reading this, I always think of a classmate in high school, just like what the book describes, like a lotus, fresh and elegant, so clean that no one can bear to touch it. I